The New Resolution – A 2020 Revolution?

By December 31, 2019 October 29th, 2022 Heather

It’s that time again. The one time of the year you get very serious about a fresh start. Even more so when it’s a new decade to boot.

Here’s three breakouts of what resolutions to consider for the best decade every. The first part is the Resolution marketing we’re bombarded with and our role in it. the second part is a resolution commitment and being in the skin you’re in, and finally, part 3, if you’re still reading and committed by that point, is about women who skin shame other women – a challenge for the biggest resolution of all.

Part 1: The Resolution Market

I know, it’s currently NYE and everybody is thinking about a what to change about themselves for next year. How can you avoid it? From TV to Facebook and beyond, you have access to just about any promo code you want to sign up for something this year to better yourself, and aside from Rachel Hollis finding her niche in what I am talking about, the mass majority of ads are focused on losing weight through diet or fitness programs. Or both. In every imaginable form possible – from the traditional diet food shippers Marie Osmond covers, to pills and workout DVDs of dancing to the new modern apps, point counters and custom metabolizing diets – pick your plan.

Resolution = Finding Why You Want To Change it and How It Happened in the First Place

What we don’t realize is that these monthly payment planned systems that may or may not work hit you up right after the Thanksgiving to Christmas party food overloads, a messy house and an empty wallet.  Let’s be honest, if you stick to any of the programs the way they claim, it’ll probably work.

I can testify that assumption is accurate for Weight Watchers and Noom. They failed me because I fell to resistance and gave up after the first plateau. I’m still conscientiously trying to lose more weight, and am getting there because I’m figuring my crap out and not currently in need of a third party partner. It’s ok to use them though.

Peloton is pedaling to $1.5 billion in sales this year.

You got this.

Thankfully, due to my loosely documented journey the past two years to wellness, I’ve spent the latter part of my adult life flopping in-between ‘average’ to ‘slightly obese’ according to my annual insurance screenings. That same 25 lbs that creeps up faster than it comes off.

I’m done with the next resolution offer with a promo code to solve why I’m back up again. I can’t stand the way I feel when I have those extra 25 lbs on me. I bet anyone reading this can fill in their number in that statement that they fight with.

When you’re up, it affects everything because you don’t feel good in your skin unless you’re wardrobe hiding with special control top contraptions. I feel tired, sluggish even slightly depressed at times because I know that the bandwagon of discipline is rearing its ugly head at you.

This New Year’s, if weight loss is part of your goal, you have two choices…

  1. Knock it off

You have to start cutting out whatever joy you been putting in there, stop going out, eat diet foods and workout regularly. Try something on Facebook. They’re all on sale. It’s time to knock it off and get serious about losing weight.  Maybe it will work this time. Besides, being skinny is what will make you happy, right?


2. Knock it off

If you try whatever the fad is since you were a teenager and here you are, still having that fight with your head, it’s bigger than a diet program for $30 a month. Time to start figuring out why you are fighting yourself and where the breakdown is that makes you unhealthy. Every person’s answer is so different it’s all the same and hopefully something you can discover. It could be anything from past drama to undiscovered allergies to how your processed diet is affecting your brain and a thousand other reasons. Start there, and go find a fitness thing you like and food types you can enjoy enough to stay on the wagon for good.   

To me, these programs are your kickstart to see the results you need to keep momentum out of your rut so you can get moving towards the real parts of the journey to cravings, bloating, self-loathing, peer pressure, subconscious grazing, high-calorie drinks … all add up to habits or symptoms of another layered cause.

I’m getting there, I’ve been at it for about 6 months now. I still have #fails but the #wins outweigh them thank goodness. That’s the key. Find 4 good decisions you made for your healthier you and earn a cheat of your choice.*

*I don’t mean go do something totally stupid. I mean go out for wings and beers, skip a workout.. you know, not rocking the boat here. 4:1

Squirrel – I think Noom and WW should merge. It’d be a stronger ‘why and how’ program that way.

Maybe we need more ads targeted to us about improving our hearts, minds, and gut. Flush out last year. haha.

Part 2: Skincare

Now that I’m pretty consistent with where my health is headed, it’s steady moving for the better. So all the typical resolutions everywhere you turn aren’t relevant to me. So I figured I didn’t need one. Just keep trying to be kind and thoughtful more. So why did I just decide to make a public promise to myself to fix my face skin?

This isn’t a resolution, it just so happens to be accurate timing and top of mind that I need to identify my current insecurity. I gotta get serious about my skin.

Look at those Laugh Lines. LOL Oh Well!

Specifically my face. I don’t beat myself up over it, I would say my skin for 43 is typical to that of a sun-loving, exposure to the elements woman.

Crows Feet or Laugh Lines

I have laugh lines, for lack of any medical term training. They aren’t crows feet. That sounds like the lines destined to lock you in as a senior citizen who clearly spent more years disappointed than happy. No. I don’t want those old crows. They’re laugh lines. And I’m currently perfectly content with them. Just don’t get worse yet. I should be able to intervene somehow.

Last spring I was actually developing a habit of making a ‘naturally healthy’ drink and then added organic collagen powder stuff to it because sales videos for the product say that scientists have proven that is what you begin to lose naturally as you age which makes the skin thin and wrinkles up. Replacing it from the ground up cow bone stuff puts it back in. It was pricey though.

I got it at Costco because it was $15 off but still it was $25. I ran out and didn’t want to buy it if it wasn’t on sale and now it’s not there so I don’t know. I don’t know if it was the drink, mixing that stuff in it, or both – but I’m a dumbass for stopping it. I think I did feel better and my skin was, I don’t know, just better.

Did it work? Maybe?

I took 2 lemons, chopped up enough to shove in the ninja and ground it all up as fine as I possibly could. I read that a lot of health facts from lemons were located in the skin and people don’t realize it. Who knows, but what does it hurt? I put the pulpy juice in a 2 qt. pitcher added like a tablespoon of cayenne powder and the same amount of raw honey. Fill it up with water and shake it up every morning when you pour a big water bottle of it out for work.

So it took a bit to get a taste for it but I’m telling you it was ten times better than apple cider vinegar (take the powder form of ACV, so much better)

I liked it and adding in that powder didn’t alter the taste. All it took was running out of lemons before going on vacation, the powder running out and not going on sale and I broke the habit. That should help.

So I’ going to restart making that drink today and see what’s online for a powder.

I don’t want it to get any worse and I don’t want to put chemicals on it to prevent it or cover it up. All those sunscreens with chemicals burn my flesh like fire and if you look at what’s in all those creams I don’t know what is safe or not. Who knows.

I do know I am smearing a $250 tube of cream on my face to clear off all the sunspots I have. It works and shouldn’t cost that. That’s dumb. I bet it cost pennies to produce and would prevent sunspots from beginning other skin issues later in life so….. any way.

It has to be refrigerated and applied every night to a clean face. I can handle the trips up and down the steps to wash my face and then come to the kitchen to put it on and then go back upstairs.. but I forget. It’s so inconsistent and that dang bottle cost $250 of highway robbery so I should use it.

Sounds like my argument with my treadmill. And my row machine…..

Anyway. So I bought one of those cute refrigerators that hold a 6-pack of pop in them. Came in light blue, too. For $20 on black Friday. My son got a black one for his room.

Done. Fridge upstairs.

Anyway. That was five weeks ago and my husband unplugged my refrigerator in the bathroom upstairs because I still didn’t put anything in it. What’s wrong with me?

Here. I put it in the fridge. Another thing to check off the list. My skin will be better for it. Unless this chemical will soon have a lawyer commercial to go with it.

“If you or your loved one used Tri-Luma for sunspots and were then diagnosed with mesothelioma, you could be compensated…contact the law offices of dufelshmirtz and dingaloo today” Ha.

Part 3: Skin Shamers

Why is it that if you make it to your 40’s, work hard at it most of the time…well ok, a lot of the time…and can maintain a 25 lb window influx through the journey so far, some women disappoint me. If you put me on a scale ranked against my fellow adult female gender, I’d rank myself in the 50th percentile. Half the women are larger pound wise and half the women are smaller. Of the 50% that are larger, about 5-10% of them slim shame me and many others’ eyes look like they agree. Breaks my heart. I’ve even got mad once and confronted what had been constipating me about it. This was the gist of my rebuttal to the statement, “You’re thin. You don’t understand what it’s like to be addicted to food.”

“Seriously? I do struggle with choices, grazing too much, overeating and I probably drink the calories and sugar from wine. Everyone has addictions, it’s how they affect you. Some show, some hide.”

I mean, everyone has to feed the demons to keep them quiet and that’s why they say everyone is battling something and yada yada, right?

Every. Single. Woman. Every. Single. Size. Struggles with body image.

Food, whether overused as an indulgence or denied as a punishment is probably the number one abused substance in America.

To all of you: My vow as a woman is that I will not slim shame you. I will not fat shame you. If you approach me and want to talk about your story with it, I’m all ears curious. Not because I’m nosy. Because I’m willing to openly share mine here and in return will listen to yours. Maybe together we can plant a seed for you to figure it out, too.

By figuring it out I do not mean losing weight or gaining weight. That’s the end result of whatever it is that you need to figure out.

Let’s be honest – the deeply engrained body image dysmorphia every human has but more so in those carrying the XX gene. So it’s not going to go away right away, it’s going to take a long time to undo that hardwired part that says we have to look a certain way to be happy.

Maybe you’ll figure out that you can be happy in your current physical state if your emotional, mental, spiritual states are in a good place. Who knows.

Every confident woman is beautiful. Every. Single. One.

Imagine if all women could get their baggage figured out so that no matter what size we are, we’re either fully content with it, or taking long term efforts into getting to the size or fitness endurance level that will get you to fully content with it. Either way, you’re rocking it girl. Good for you.

That’s how it should be. We all got reasons for how we shaped our world view thinking through our individual eye cameras and interpretations of them.

Dig in and figure out why you feel the urge to make fun of other women, from shape and size to how they accessorize.

I am guilty of gossiping with my tiny circle of trust. I don’t know if gossip is the right word, my intentions aren’t to tear them down but rather to discuss philosophically what happened in their life to cause them to replace confidence with something hurtful to keep women divided.

The ones are hard on other women, the ones who claim all men are evil and we must go to war with them, the ones who lie, the ones who flirt with your husband, the ones who play control games, the ones who won’t speak up, the ones who take him/her back, the ones who are able to justify affairs, the ones who trash talk and sabotage good women who wouldn’t do it back to them.

Yes, I do ponder why they behave the way they do and their overall character but I don’t make fun of them for superficial stuff.

In my defense, those behaviors of bad sandbox players aren’t the type to approach with vulnerable conversations anyway. But imagine if you could… from a curious perspective, not a critical one – why do you choose to do that to people?

I feel like the majority of women are naturally attracted to similar decent, married with 2.3 kids and you see them at Kroger or the walking trails.

We know we’re on the same team of imperfect, strugglers who know why they do what they do. We know the lines of respect we all give one another and that we always cheer each other on – even from afar.

We like each other, and we recognize that we don’t have room in the routine so we each make our own paths and run into each other as friends no matter how long in between that is … genius. Together all of our circles can make chains unite, convert the questionables and exile the Malificents and Regina George’s to intense spa therapy retreats sprinkled with humbling chores that benefit the beautification of the world that used to be beneath them.

Wouldn’t that be a game-changer for everyone? United Front!

I mean, I genuinely don’t tear down women. Just ponder about the motivation of the hypocritical ones. The one who’s roadmap their conscience guide takes them on is a little, you know… skewed. Unpredictable? Close-minded? Superficial?

We know what I mean. I dread the social situations that thrust you into a menagerie of characters and you have to be careful yet everyone claims to be smiling and wonderful. Ugh.

Who knows, they could be suffering in silence and losing their sense of self.

Let’s imagine what stress would look like if we fixed all the world’s problems together instead of pretending we are a united group when the truth is, we’re our biggest enemy. Ourselves.

Together we have the power to support the good guys and girls out there and bring down the real corruption – which knows no gender, race, orientation or age.

We’re allowing superficial details to divide us as humans who face the exact same addictions, fears, loss, disappointment – it’s just all different stories of how it affected us and what barriers we face. No one is immune.

Seriously. Am I the only one who gets that??????

See people. See them. Look at their eyes and try. You don’t have to be friends with everyone, you just have to be open to the fact that their story may make you see how far they’ve come or how far they fell and stop judging them.

It’s not your job. They’re the ones in the skin their in and need to come to terms with it.

Love the skin your in and remember that together we raise the tides but right now we are stuck in the weeds and silos.

Happy 2020!!

Thanks for reading!


Leave a Reply

Discover more from Oh Hey Heather | Say Something, comfortably

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading