Alright. I’m really into seeing and watching what happens when different human dynamics are thrown into a reality show. Not the slutty dumb ones that further push the divisions of what we see. No, it’s the hidden gems of showing the real in those most effected by broken policies for profit. If you want to see it, and think about what you’re experiencing while watching them – this is the good, bad or indifferent of what happens in cyclic opressions.
1. 90 Day Fiancée the other way
We can no longer trust media to accurately report what is happening within our borders, let alone outside of them. The true peak into reality is watching stereotypical romcom reality dramas that TLC and WE and ABC crank out like Jerry Springer pills for erratic people.
I used to charm on the fact that all these shows are is Americans wanting to upgrade their dating pools because of their own insecurities or crazies that limit their US dating pool to ugly or douchie.
I then changed the lens to how the show’s title isn’t necessary. It’s the show’s open telling of what traveling to 3rd world countries (hint – they’re usually attractive and/or way younger, etc) and what living there means for Americans who are spoiled with our amenities.
Those on the show who get pregnant, mostly flee back home because the means of current facility options are sketch at best. I saw this in episodes regarding South Africa and Uganda couples. Most Mexican and South American love connections result in multi-family living with meager living conditions and amenities.
Throw in cultural and religious differences, online dating as the reliable indicator it’s true love and living conditions like needing $22k to get an ’03 kia to be able to travel and yep…drama pursues.
Now, tighten up the lens further.
One guy from Yemen, who realized he’s totally into an African American Chicago girl who seems inspired by the Kardashian Cardi style and brings her over. He’s possibly going to get killed at this point due to the disrespect observed by this woman not wearing her burka correctly and refusing to delete her provocative photos from social media. They would only be able to find love if he conforms to America and leaves his country and family for her.
Jenny, who’s 63 and the love of her life, Sumit, 30, are living in India where his parents, who are younger than Jenny are so hell bent against it that screaming can ensue. Yet there is no solution. They will lose their neighborhood network of support as they age because of this blasphemy yet he won’t have children now to continue the family line. I believe he truly loves Jenny deeply and just wants to marry her. So, they would have to come to America to ever have peace which means he loses his family for love. Yet America would embrace them, India neighborhoods will not, ever. Not even this one time.
All in all, this series of many seasons tells us one thing – this is a huge glimpse in aftermath countries that all the big countries annihilate to win the flag game on their natural resource supplies. It’s insight into what the world looks like when you are censored, conformed, society judged, poor, taxed and fighting for survival basic living.
2. Life after Lock Up
Did you know there are dating websites to match up with people incarcerated within the American prison system? Did you know there’s hundreds of episodes of realty TV showing what happens when the penpal gets released to you? I’m not going to give any spoilers to it, but here’s what I am gaining from it. When I get hooked on a show playing in the background of my writing (S3 Ep21 is playing now as I type, however I only have access to season 3 as a disclaimer!) – I self reflect with myself on why.
Here’s my thoughts. The tolerance of horrible relationships in pursuit of having a permanent one is curiosity at it’s finest. To see how and what they go through of fighting, cheating, lying is mind boggling. Yet the sense of worth and value of each other them is so low, it’s as if they’re behaving with what they tolerate on each other.
It’s raw. It’s hard to explain. Some makes sense. Some doesn’t.
Usually there’s underlying dysfunctions of all kinds on both sides to be attracted to someone you can trust because they’re locked up and can’t hurt you like everyone has in your history.
Then they’re free and wanted to celebrate being free while dating for the first time after being virtually married for months or years compiled with tough parole restrictions and limitations to their options to be a provider.
It’s a huge gray muddled mess of humanity rolled into black and white laws layered with societal judgement on their worth after serving the time.
Some is justified. Some are just wired to wind up on the radar of crime outbursts. Others, have been locked up since teens and are released in an age of typically being settled from years of experience.
Then there’s untreated addicts. Too poor for interventions, relying on the government services provided. My heart breaks for the petty criminals who just get caught up hustling for more.
Plus there’s a lot of women carrying around some punks in the name of long term love.
I think of Kristiana from Dubuque. Sure, her love match online is a bit quirky and has alot of history too, but she’s straight up real. She’s addicted to drugs and it’s all around her. She works her way to the half way house and is thrown in with druggies and dealers and forced into a strict regimen that makes it quite the transition. She fails every time and knows it.
She has returned to jail to reserve her time 3X now for the same original charge because she fails the probation test of rebuilding your life in a halfway house. Meanwhile, her husband, mom and sister are 90 miles away at his home while she’s there. Close but not close enough.
This show makes me see what’s wrong with the whole system and the funding that goes into perpetual system rotators. The transition out of prison and into freedom has to be redone for those who are nonviolent victims of the cycle called the struggle is real.
There’s gotta be a better way to figure out all this stuff. It shows you how you definitely don’t want to go to the wrong party or get in with the wrong crowd or not have any behavior skills to act out your disappointments with abuse everywhere you turn.
This shows you what happens in the poor communities on the fringe of factories and manufacturing that link to government. Every ghetto, whether urban or rural, shows a pattern of the same.
It’s tragic watching released people truly trying, you can see it. They really want to escape and find the American dream in their own country. Yet there’s just too much against them and parents or exes that broke their hearts to make them doubt anything true. Let alone love themselves and release the shame.
Some of them? Yeah, you got issues. Might end up back to prison. The rest, oh how I wish they could find real love and be treated better than to which they still tolerate.
Another touching moment, when a man released after 18 years in Compton shows his daughter all of his gravestone tattoos on his back and names on his arms of all the friends and family he’s lost tragically due to street violence.
It was tragically real, tragically sad. I see him. I see him trying. His struggle is real real. I pray his wife allows him to reconnect with his family and trust he wants to stay free. So much good intention.
3. Love is Blind
This is probably the best dating for love show concept I’ve seen yet. It’s not some guy making out with all 30 girls to weigh in on whether they’re good enough to give a rose to.
It’s led by counselors and psychiatry people who interview and work with all the candidates to find probability matches based on beliefs and personalities. No physical requirements, in fact they’re hidden from everyone and only have conversations, for as long as they want, to learn about one another and connect.
Then, after a few of these, they choose which one they felt they liked the best.
Then they meet.
There’s weeks of dating, trip etc to vet if this is indeed my match.
It’s by far the most real and human method and a couple have stayed together and seem truly happy. Most haven’t, yet I wonder what their success rate is compared to eHarmony. It’s like that on steroids and guided through with counseling support.
That gives you more romantic insight in the world than any Taylor Swift video could tell you.
PS> There’s a commercial I see called the Real Real. It’s a site for preowned discount shopping items that area ll the big brands – Louis Vitton, Chanel, you know those ritzy ones. For up to 70% off or something. thousands of new items uploaded daily!
What a bargain!
What do you think the odds are that all this inventory is mostly the raided stores in California, Chicago and New York and now they don’t need a pawn shop because we are the pawn shop? I was just wondering. It’s quite a timely app.