It’s a CATastrophe out there.

By July 1, 2022 September 23rd, 2022 Heather

I’ve been thinking a lot about cats.

I feel they are a symbolic analogy to our current elitism plot to destroy America and all the working class within it. It starts with feral abandoned cats in my yard. So here we go.

I have a cat problem. A rather daily one, actually. It’s been approximately four years of ongoing irritations as whether you like to admit it or not – cats reproduce at an alarming rate. Especially homeless ones.

You see, it all begins when people abandon their pets. They think they’re a good idea until they have to fulfill the responsibility it takes and then decide to peace out and let them go.

In some pockets of the country, it does go beyond abandoned cats. For example, look at the 100,000+ Burmese Pythons destroying the Florida everglades. On a settlement in Iowa, people have let dogs run loose in the woods for so long they’ve developed their own packs and attack humans.

‘not my yard, not my problem’

So in the grand scheme of the world, I’m just going to complain and analyze the feral cat community that has grown and thrived in my suburban development of first world problems.

On any given day, I have 5-9 different homeless cats in my backyard. They like to camp out and have sex under and on top of my shed and take refuge under my deck, especially if they’re having more babies.

The last round of kittens lead to blood curdling screams in the night as they must’ve wandered into our tree line where the possums or male cats endured a couple. It’s quite sad actually and you feel really bad but what am I going to do about nature when I can’t get them to all leave?

They’re not dumb either. The sneak in and out and taunt our dog who has taken on the security role of cat watching on her own to eradicate the riff raff for us.

Someone has to.

Sure, by now many are thinking, duh Heather- just call the Humane Society and let them do humane things like gather up all the abandoned unfixed wild cats who are creating cat world in backyards.

That was the first step.

The directions I received from the county humane staff was that they are too overwhelmed to be concerned with feral cats. They do not have capacity to go out and catch all the loose cats, they estimate hundreds of them based on calls they get.

They can add me to the list of people wanting help getting rid of the cats but there’s no timeframe on when that will ever happen to get to me.

I was told I could catch them in cages and make an appointment and bring them in to get spade or neutered in their grant funded ‘Barn cat program’. Each cat will only cost me $45 dollars to get fixed but I will have to pick it back up and promise to release it again.

At one point, we tried it. Even though we aren’t anywhere near barns I could catch them and fix them and stop their spreading. We bought a safety cage to catch them. I estimated from the cage to the services I’d be expecting to spend $480 to solve my backyard problem.

It wasn’t hard to catch one. Afterall, they must be hungry since they try to attack my cardinals feeding from our seed and the funny squirrel family who lives up above. I figure when you’re resorting to those means for supper, and look the way they do, they’re not turning away tuna laced with catnip.. in a bowl no less.

The surgery appointment is going to be a while. Couple weeks.

So then what? I got a cat caught, ready to bring it on over and you can’t. They don’t keep them.

We decided at that point to find our own humane society and drop it off.

Sure, it’s just moving around the problem but isn’t that what our government does too?

I imagine buses and planes in the dark of night dropping off all these strays running around.

So that began the plan.

looking a bit humane out here

We knew a family member in the country who said you could drop a couple off into their woods since they have a big mouse and chipmunk problem.

Six months after we dropped off three there and they said stop- there’s more now and they’ve become a nuisance from spraying smells to getting into garbage and stuff.

So then we just followed the five mile away rule and found areas with farm houses in the distances and big barns and dropped them off.

Fast forward two and a half years since that occurred. We moved about 7 cats total.

Yet We have more than ever in our yard.

We like to think of ourselves as the party house of the neighborhood. You know, the place they all come to get it on and meow like savages. The best part is that when they aren’t setting our dog off every day, they’re shitting all over the yard.

We try to find homes for the kitties.

I have no idea why, but some dogs like to roll in enemy shit and smear it over themselves.

Dumbest thing ever but here we are, another year of extra baths.

Our cats are long hair, short hair, tabby, black, striped, tuxedo – they all keep making more.

Here’s the funny thing. We no longer participate in the ongoing Next Door app arguments of feral cats everywhere. It offends too many people.

We’ve been criticized for our method of removal and chucked into the bad people category for catching and releasing wild cats from our yard that we overpay taxes to have every year.

Heck, they don’t even know about our other method which is take our kids BB gun and shoot them in the butts when they come at our bird feeder or take a squat in our yard. It’s rather funny to see them bolt away.

They’ll be back, of course, probably with four more friends in tow, but alas it’s the small things that entertain us.

Here’s my whole point.

Cat people have abandoned their responsibility and let them go fend for themselves. No birth control. No way to provide birth control other than pay a vet or get the cheap barncat program that’s over booked for weeks.

Meanwhile, we can take human designed bills to kill our babies inside us for up to 70 days of growing and developing.

Cats on the other hand, only take 67 days to mate and birth kittens, up to like ten at a time is possible.  

If I am inhumane for the actions I’ve taken against people’s abandoned cats, would it be wiser for me to instead trap them when I notice they’re pregnant and get them to a vet immediately so we can get her an abortion?

I mean, based on my observation of the recurring male cats fornicating in my yard, many of these females are probably being raped and definitely not looking forward to raising multiple children under someone’s deck when they end up eaten in the wild jungle of suburbia.

Maybe I can use the human abortion pills on the cats and start leaving them around in tuna bowls with catnip stirred in.

Since I can’t get them sterilized. You know. To help control the feral population.

I was wondering, would any person out there fighting for my right to abort a child out of my body any time I feel like it now be against me for advocating to abort kittens?

Would they take their pregnant cat in to get an abortion? Why not?

I think if you’re going to fight for abortions that have no medical reasoning to be done other than you don’t want it anymore, I believe that belief should be applied to their cats as well.

Women are frowned upon for leaving a baby on someone’s doorstep when they feel unable to parent the child and want it to have a better outcome than they can give. Yet those same nose turners I can only assume are letting go of cats for the rest of the world to deal with.

Anyway. Just a thought. Check out this thread of how inhumane it is to make a poor cat have an abortion.

Thanks for reading. Meow.


PS this video isn’t mine, as I would never feed them and let them think this is a place for them however – the interaction and example is exactly what they do to one another all hours of the night. Windows be danged.


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