Stop Breaking the Boomers

By March 17, 2020 October 29th, 2022 Heather, Pandemic Thoughts

I believe that starting today, the President should be able to approve any and all marketing plans for products that target our senior citizens as consumers. The specific advertising categories are drugs, unsound financial gimmicks or any service that uses fear and panic as the tactic for a call to action.

Here’s my why story to support that statement.

Like, what the hell is this add about Heaven? Watch this – I couldn’t believe it.

These commercials run across all cable networks during the day. It’s also the most affordable time to buy ad placements so if you’re targeting seniors, you have impressive margins of return. Catch the Price is Right or Judge Judy sometime. You’ll see.

What bothers me about this one, is paying $149 bucks to have a total body ultrasound screening to make sure your blood is pumping through you like it should be sounds like something anyone should consider. It’s a lot cheaper than going to each organ specialists for their evaluation. And it keeps strip malls alive.

My problem with this is… well… everything.

First. The check-in greeter/actor to Heaven and all these hot, active, barely aged as seniors who are lined up to meet him. Sure they are prime potential customers to have it done. I am. I spent around three grand in deductibles figuring out my chest pain and blood pressure.

They also more than likely have a steady income to agree with the $149 one time fee for all five scans and the ability to drive themselves and do it on their lunch hour.

But making selling point valid by reenacting an imaginary check-in to the pearly gates way too early because they didn’t use it? To tell them that four out of five stroke victims say the first sign is a stroke? What does that even mean?

Their name and logo. Is that an angel or a guy doing a jumping jack? Life Line Screening at LifeLineTV dot com? It’s like they hired the people who sell all the products that you’ll get double the order if you act now.

A commercial costs what it costs. Buying a spot on Judge Judy is ten times cheaper than Grey’s Anatomy. That’s probably why we don’t see it.

They could’ve saved even more money by not hiring that cheesy actor and build a set that could’ve easily been replaced with some B-roll footage of a person getting the procedure done with some true stories of prevention savers and money savers of avoiding costly hospital screenings. I bet they even forward the scans to your doctor for you.

Hospitals aren’t meant to be McDonald’s of standard health screenings. They need their equipment for in your face issues that need an emergency diagnosis, etc.

This stroke detector place is one of the growing privatized health services to save hospitals and our wallets. It keeps the public from contaminating them or exposing those that are there because they truly need to be – surgeries, births, serious disease care – If I can go get an X-ray for $75 bucks and they dropbox the images to my doctor or specialist – isn’t that a win-win?

This service does not need a cheesy gimmick. It doesn’t need fear. It doesn’t need to look and feel like a direct marketing ad that requires urgency with bonus offers.

Heck, why not call it the stroke detector? You could tie it into wishing we had our own smoke detector for the most important house of all – our house.

Or just a matter of fact angle of requesting a blood flow ultrasound for peace of mind.

23andMe is not much cheaper and I did it out of curiosity about predisposition genetics.

We must protect our seniors. Reversed mortgages. Security and burglar fears. New drugs for side effects caused by drugs that you take for your drugs. Falling and not getting up. Selling your insurance to another company. Buying supplemental insurances for your supplemental insurance. Sending money to save some part of broken humanity who keeps most of it to pay their CEOs. So many traps.

Let’s not forget that when you get to nothing left, they’ll buy your gold at a fraction of the cost. So there’s that.

So many 70s and 80s TV stars who work cheap to endorse the next thing their fellow seniors could use are about the only positive angle I can find with the commercials. Especially Joe Namath. Man his ears really keep growing. That’s a thing.

The array of fear and panic ads that have been played on constant repeat to your grandparents who are more isolated and homebound than we like to admit.

We all work and have commitments no matter how often we reach out. No judgment – just be sure you reach out. Especially to talk to them about these types of advertisements they are seeing all the time.

Many are confusing on top of scary. Like this one.

Don’t we already have enough fear? Cash in on something else. Like a marketing team that can make your product legit and keep our seniors safe.

Thanks for reading,


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