Dems Da Rules.

By August 5, 2020 October 29th, 2022 Heather, Pandemic Thoughts
the covid-19 rules

In an effort to help others in public spaces of town avoid any embarrassing confrontations or misunderstandings, you gotta know the rules of your environment.

Many places have different rules, which could become confusing. Here they are,  simplified, by where you may be and during what time.


Worker Rules

Your boss is not required to disclose a possible exposure unless there’s a positive test to confirm the ill person has Corona. You won’t be considered at risk for exposure to the infected individual unless you were within their 6-foot social distance bubble for more than 15 minutes and did not wear a mask. This also would have had to occur during the 48 hours prior to the individual showing symptoms.


working office with covid-19

You’re only at risk if you were within six feet, for more than 15 minutes without a mask on during the 48-hour window right before they felt sick. If they had symptoms.

There’s more –

Due to HIPPA and ADA rules, they can’t disclose who the individual was to assess if whether or not you were within their 6-foot bubble for 15 minutes without a mask anyway.  If you want to play it safe since you aren’t sure if you were exposed or not, you’ll have to ask their doctor to write an excuse for a self-elected quarantine and file EFMLA paperwork for 2/3 pay or burn sick hours.

If you feel fine, don’t worry about an exposure unless you begin to not feel fine. Then you probably were exposed. Now go back to the top of this rule section and repeat the above steps for the next round of who was hanging out for more than 15 minutes without masks.

If the business owner tells the possibly exposed worker to go home, then the business needs to pay their wage but they can require a negative test upon returning to work – testing is overwhelmed and most will take 2-14 days to get results so it may be too late so just go back to work.

Since 40% of positive cases are considered asymptomatic, meaning they have no symptoms or physical illness to realize they have Corona, you might have it anyway and have no idea.

If you work full time yet have children at home learning online – and don’t have a grandparent or friend or ability to pay additionally for a tutor, you can get EFMLA to stay home with them so they have a teacher.


School Rules, so far

Only 50% of students are allowed in at a time for two days a week because many of the teaching staff are scared they may contract the virus from the kids. Parents are encouraged to have retired grandparents or neighborhood moms volunteer to take other peoples’ kids so they can work.


If one student or teacher tests positive for corona they will be forced to go to remote learning and quarantined. The entire school closes for two weeks.

One positive case and the whole place shuts down for two weeks – whether someone was in their bubble for more than 15 minutes without a mask on within the 48 hours prior to the symptoms showing.

If you play sports, you must have a test 72 hours before every game, but it could take 2-14 days to get the results so you may not play after all.

No buses will be available. You’ll have to figure out how to get your kids to and from school for the two days a week you allow them to go. You could call Uber, I suppose. They’re open.


Colleges Rules, so far

Remote learning. No discounts. Stay in your dorm room if they let you on campus.

No sports. Sorry Big Ten.


Large Box stores Rules

Wear a mask. Touch everything. Only 873 people are allowed in the store at a time.

Enter in one side, exit out the other and follow the one-way aisle floor graphics.

Create traffic hazards as shoppers must trek across the parking lot since there’s only one entrance in or out.

Everyone must walk past each other while looking away, not making eye contact and judging people who aren’t wearing masks with disgust. HIPPA means nothing here.


menards doesn't want kids in their stores for covid-19

Stand on your circle at the six-foot distance while waiting to checkout. Back up when you can to let the shoppers cross through, it is crowded after all.

Cashiers wear masks behind Plexiglas.

The cashiers touch and scan all the items you put in your cart and unloaded onto the conveyor belt  –  but you have to tear off your own receipt, they don’t touch it. Must be the paper.

Children’s coin vending machines are bagged and closed. Lottery vending machines are open.

Parking lots are full, watch social distancing.

Public Restroom Rules

Sit on the seat if you’d like. Stalls get cleaned every so many hours. Hand blow dryers are fine. Ignore Mythbusters showing the fecal whirlwinds.

Water fountains are closed.

Your mask doesn’t muffle all the bad day smells your stall neighbor is having. Is that six feet?

General rules for living

If your church is open, sign up online for a pew. Wear a mask. Good luck singing. Singing spreads more droplets.

Donating blood is needed and imperative. We want your antibodies. You may have already had it and had no idea.

Recycling your plastic sacks isn’t allowed right now. Throw them away.

You can send your passport away to be renewed, but they aren’t issuing them right now. But they’ll cash the check that came in the envelope with it.

Do not donate clothing or fabrics, they can’t accept them. Corona can live on fabrics.

Wear a fabric face filter at all times in public. It’s the only defense we’ve got.

Don’t touch your mask or your face and wear it properly so it covers your nose, mouth and chin.

Crap, now it may be your eyes and ears too. Maybe cuts or skin.

You can drive up and get a test if you’re curious since you may have it and have no idea.

You can find out if maybe that weird virus you had in February was really that and you’ve had it.

We don’t know if you can get it twice so just ignore that result. Wear a mask. You may have it again and not realize it.

You may have a false positive or a false negative but they’re doing their best to figure it out. Either way, they count for the total.

You may get a letter in two weeks that said you had it but you didn’t know and didn’t get tested.

You’re not allowed to visit isolated grandparents during the summer outside. Only the staff can be with them. They go back to living after their shift. Unless they can babysit for you while you go to work.

You must wear a mask when you are walking in a restaurant but can remove it once you sit down. You can only be there for 60 or 90 minutes and must leave before 10 pm. Your wait staff will take your disposable menus away for you to toss before going to serve the next table. Are those like big receipts?

Cash exchanges are fine. Slap me some dollar bills. What kind of fabric is money, anyway?


Coins are going to be in short supply someday. Well, at least the pennies and quarters.

You can shop for a car at the dealership lot but you can’t have classic car displays. It could get crowded. Like Walmart.

Surgeries aren’t necessary unless it’s life-threatening. They need to keep the rooms open to be ready for virus patients and they wouldn’t want other patients who may be infected and bring it in to the hospital. They’re trying to keep sick people out of there to prevent more Corona from coming there. Knees, hips, routine scans could take weeks to schedule. You’ll need to take a Corona test first, before any other procedure is done. This is to make sure you aren’t sick before you come to the hospital. Especially if you’re going to deliver a baby. If you have Corona you’re out of luck.

If you don’t wear a mask you’re irresponsible and trying to hurt old people and sick people. It’s just some fabric. Put them on and shut up. Comply or be public shamed.

Consider changing out your clothes if you work long shifts and in close proximity to others, like police officers and health workers for example. The virus can attach to your clothing and take hours to disperse, putting them at a very high risk. Wearing a fabric mask will keep you safe.

Crowds are a huge risk for spreading the virus. Unless your looting and destroying things and torturing cops. Just wear a mask, those are not documented as causing spreads.

If beaches are dry, they could have the virus on them. Wet sand is better. But beaches are bad. Don’t go there.

UV rays from hot sun kill the virus in seconds. Well, maybe. We don’t really know. You should probably wear your mask outside and when your home alone. There’s not conclusive evidence.

Stadiums, theaters, shows, playing fields, funerals, weddings and anything celebratory are not safe. There’s no trust that people can follow the rules in these places and will probably spread the virus. Cancel everything. You didn’t really want to go downtown anyway, did you?

Your city swimming pool is open but your condo HOA pool is not. Or hotels. Water parks are fine. Practice social distancing.

It may get worse. It probably will. Yeah, everything is increasing everywhere vacations happen so you’ll probably need to just stay home. Or self-quarantine when you get back. Unless you don’ have symptoms, because your work is allowed to let you come back. But just don’t go on vacation. The pools are closed anyway.

You didn’t need masks before when it was curved. Well, actually you did but they had to lie to protect the health care supply of PPE, which we now know is an acronym for personal protective equipment. Now they have plenty, so wear a mask. We don’t need PPE though. Any fabric in your closet will do. You can order so many cute designs to reflect your personality. It’s a new accessory.


Magic Image Magazine photo of covid mask celebrities

The mayors, governors and local health departments mandate all the rules provided by CDC and WHO. If you don’t like it, blame the president.

Hang in there everyone! Do your part! We’re in this together. Unless we’re not. Then we aren’t. Just stay home. Or go out.



Thanks for reading,



kissing coronavirus

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