I get asked a lot about love. I know people who have amazing relationships, tolerable ones, rough ones and some – nothing significant at all.
My hope for everyone in the world is that you are able to give and receive unconditional love. I am not sure that immediately happens. Instant attraction? Yes. Instant chemistry? Definitely. But unconditional takes time, commitment and desire. Again and again and again.
It’s ok to have someone in your life that you can like for a hundred different reasons. Personality. Sense of humor. Kindness. Intelligence. Perspective on life. Similar interests.
If there’s a twinge of doubt in your gut, heart or mind – explore it. Figure out why.
Anytime I hear, “But he’s such a nice guy!” “She’s such a sweet girl!” Lots of nice people don’t work out. So do bad ones. Don’t tie them up from finding their better match. And please for the love of God, don’t settle. Settling holds you both back from amazing.
What are some things that make amazing?
Your happiness is just as important as their happiness.
Your success is just as coveted as their success.
Your varied hobbies, interests, bucket lists are just as valued as their hobbies, interests and bucket lists.
Your pleasure heightens their pleasure.
Your opinion is considered in the forming of their opinion. *Note I said considered, not required.
Your sacrifice is empathized when they make plans that don’t include you.
Your vulnerabilities are known just like their vulnerabilities.
Your friendship is the best just like their friendship to you.
Your loyalty is felt as you feel their loyalty.
Your appreciation is intentional and so is their appreciation for you.
Your “I Love You” never gets old, and nor does theirs.
Your acts of kindness keep getting topped by their acts of kindness.
Your secure in the relationship and so are they.
Your attraction to them is as strong as their attraction to you.
Even then, it can have ups and downs. Bad stuff that happens. Good stuff that happens. Decisions on jobs, homes, locations, family, debt, and the list goes on. But you got each other. And you have the solid foundation of all the things above to carry you through.
That’s when it’s amazing.
And it’s worth fighting for.
Find it, don’t ever let it go.
Extra comment: When I hear someone roll their eyes (Yes, you can hear it) over the fact that their partner wants to be intimate like, monthly….ugh… I don’t get it. If their heightened experience is based on yours … you’ll be begging for it… on the regular to avoid withdrawals.